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My whole existence is spinning out of control.
I cannot catch up.
There are amazing shows and classes everywhere.
My quiltmaking gets squeezed into smaller spaces of time.
The only answer is to dream.
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Time Goes By
By Helen Kelley
Recently on one of those news magazine programs on the television, the commentator discussed the great success of the Hubble telescope and explained why it is so important to all of us. I had always supposed that it was simply a bigger and better telescope, much like the structures on mountaintops here on earth, taking pictures of the stars. But the gist of the news story, as I understood it, was that the telescope is so deep into space that it is flying around up there in light that was emitted from the earth eons ago. We're talking about ancient light that has traveled slowly through space, being what the speed of light is, and it is only now reaching the place where the Hubble telescope is orbiting. Therefore, the pictures that the telescope is taking at this moment show the earth as it was ages ago.
With the information that they are receiving from the instrument, scientists are revising their theories concerning the earth. Where once they believed that the earth is slowing down in its rotation, now they have discovered that the earth is actually spinning faster and faster. Why didn't they ask me? I could have told them that.
My whole existence is spinning out of control. Spring flies by so quickly with summer tromping in on its heels that fall bursts upon me, followed almost immediately by winter roaring in. Suddenly the ice and snow are melting, and spring prances in for another visit. Only this time when it comes, it is already the next year.
I cannot catch up. My quilt ideas are piling up in my head. I merely find time to scan the books that I have stacked up, when my initial intention was to study them and make notes. My fabric is accumulating at an amazing rate. If I don't buy that special material when I see it, it will be gone tomorrow. The colors and prints change so quickly on the store shelves that there seems to be a whole new lot every week. I want more and more, faster and faster, in case I ever need it.
The calendar of quilt events in my magazine overwhelms and frustrates me. I used to carefully mark items and schedule time for everything close to home. Now, there are amazing shows and classes happening everywhere, and I cannot possibly fit them all into my life. I used to amble along. Eventually I trotted. Now, I feel like a jogger breaking into a gallop, and I will never, never catch up.
As my quiltmaking gets squeezed and scrunched into smaller and smaller spaces of time, I panic. I get up early and work late at night. The minute hand on my clock spins around before my eyes. Quilting explorers and experimenters may not worry about time as they continue on, cheerfully trying new patterns and techniques. They may never finish their projects, but it doesn't matter. Their aim is to taste new things, try new ideas, and enjoy their discoveries. They are blessed with a philosophy that allows great joy in playing with their quilting.
Those of us who are finishers are in a different fame of mind. We try to quilt in double time, carrying our projects with us when we go out in case we find a spare minute in our day. Once, I worried that I might not have an idea for a new quilt; now I make fast sketches and jot down notes so that I can keep up with the flood of ideas in my mind. Now I quilt quicker and think faster and cook nearly instant meals.
The only answer to this high-speed dilemma, I have found, is to abandon my hold on reality. I take time to dream. Last night at supper, Bill suggested that we ride out into the country, so I abandoned my quilting plans for the evening and the goals I was determined to meet. Instead, we drove out into the warmth of early summer, and I escaped into the gloriousness of the red-winged blackbirds clinging to the reeds in the marshes. Egrets were standing in feathery white beauty along the shores of lakes. Along the edges of the road, the landscape was awash in the lushness of the full, green leaves. It was a moment to slow down in the race. It was a time to rest. It was a time to breathe.
Back on planet earth today, it is whirling again. My moment in that other time has given me a respite. I can cope. I will bind my quilt today, sign it, and put it away so that I can begin my next challenge. I am a newer, fresher person because I stopped for a bit and my world slowed down.
©HK 2005
Helen Kelley is a quiltmaker, lecturer, author, and teacher from Minneapolis, Minnesota. You can visit Helen on the Internet at her website www.helenkelley-patchworks.com or email Helen at this address: helen@helenkelley-patchworks.com.
Helen's book Every Quilt Tells a Story: A Quilter's Stash of Wit and Wisdom is a collection of two decades of Loose Threads. Now in its second printing, the book is available at quilt shops, bookstores, or from us at www.VillageQuiltShoppe.
View our archive of Loose Threads columns.
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